I had my usual Saturday party and that strange girl Amanda came again. We did
the usual stuff, drank, watched TV, etc...
At some point in the night Jason came in from outside where Amanda, Jason, Thad and Bjoy were and said they were smoking weed. I talked to Amanda about it because she is the prime suspect, but she said she didn't know anything about it. I figured Jason was just bullshitting at that point, but when I was cleaning I noticed a little baggie with some seeds in it in a beer bottle. Someone was toking it up at my house.
I can't have that happen because I used to smoke and got caught with some seeds and stems in my car back in High School when they did a random drug search. The cops let me off because I was cooperative with them and didnt give them any shit. But the school fucked with me. I had to go to these meetings with some members of the school faculity and got 2 weeks of suspension, which wasn't too bad I guess. Anyway I discovered the magical powers of beer beat weed hands down any day of the week plus (beer is less stressful to get and handle) and vowed never to smoke it again and make sure all my friends don't smoke it.
Someone went behind my back to bring this shit over here. I really dont want to think it was any of my close frinds, they know what I think about that shit. So, it must have been Amanda, she doesnt know not to bring it over here. Im considering not having a party next weekend because of this. I really want to confront everyone that was there to figure this out.
I just read my last entry. I realize I put wayy too much emphasis on this whole weed thing because I needed an escape from daily life. I wish I had that kind of distraction now, there are a lot of things going on regarding school. I have no problem doing mental work on paper and turning it in for a grade, or taking a test, but the elements I must face for the rest of the semmester are more than just mental work. In my professional communications class I have to give a five minite presentation on something and have some "group" meetings for our 20min group presentation. I have to drop physics because its just not working out. Performing these actions is not so bad, its just the anitcipation of them that bothers me. I feel like life as usual has to be put on hold while I take care of these things, they have taken over my life. Only when I am finished with them will life resume as normal. I just have to make it though this month and the begining of next month. Hopefully the party this weekend will allow me to see normal life again for a brief moment, and then back to the agony.